Wednesday, April 13, 2011

TOP 10 REASONS WHY I'M NOT ATTENDING THE ROYAL WEDDING

10.  I don't want to steal Kate's limelight. I'd rather hold out for her lemon light.

9.  Why travel half way across the world to throw rice at the bride, when I can just walk to the kitchen and throw some at my husband?

8.  I'm not going abroad until I get a passport photo that makes me look 20 years younger.

7.  I'm afraid I might catch the bouquet.

6.  When I curtsey while greeting the Queen, my knees might get stuck.

5.  I can't celebrate with the Royal Crown, because I don't have a designated driver.

4.  Kate and Wills didn't come to my wedding, why should I go to theirs?

3.  Prince Harry already has a date.

2.  I don't feel comfortable visiting Westminister Abbey because I don't even know Mr. Abbey.

1.  Elton John purloined my dress.