President Obama is celebrating his 50th birthday. A lot of parties are being held because of him. He said he is grateful, but he can do without the Tea Party.
Democrats urged the president to get his AARP card for his birthday. They contend AARP stands for Always Anti-Republican Party.
Liberal Democrats suggested Obama celebrate his birthday by doing unto Congress as Congress has done unto him – refuse to support them.
The president's daughters wanted to take him to the circus for his birthday. But he said he was tired of watching elephants perform stupid human tricks.
Queen Elizabeth declined her invitation to the president's birthday party because she didn't want to wear a silly hat.
Michele Bachmann planned to attend Barack Obama's birthday party until she realized the invitation stated: "We'll have a GAY old time."
Sarah Palin never planned to attend the president's birthday bash. She said she can see all the festivities from her back yard.
Donald Trump declined his invitation to the president's party because The Donald didn't want the party hats to mess up his hair.
Sasha is glad Donald Trump isn't attending her dad's birthday party. She has been worried that The Donald would fire the pastry chef before the cake was served.
The president wanted to have free donkey rides for all the kids attending his party. But, Joe Biden refused to cooperate.
The president said he looks forward to blowing out all 50 candles because it will give him a politically correct excuse to blow off smoke.
Showing posts with label Joe Biden. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joe Biden. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Congress should visit Oz
Members of Congress should set aside the debt ceiling and take a vacation. I suggest they visit Oz so they can ask the wizard for courage, hearts and brains.
Barack Obama's birthday is coming up in a few days. He said he isn't hiring a clown for his party, but Joe Biden plans to attend any way.
Joe Biden plans to pose as a clown and twist inflated balloon animals at President Obama's birthday party. While the vice president has never done this before, he believes he can do it because he's seen a lot of twisted Congress members with inflated egos.
The president hopes his family hires a magician to perform at his party because he would like to learn how to saw a few Republicans in half.
For birthday presents, Barack Obama is hoping he'll get a new copy of his birth certificate. The one he has is getting worn out by showing it to everyone upon demand.
Kim Kardashian is suing Old Navy for hiring a model who looks like her. All I can say is be safe people. Pick a different Kardashian to portray this Halloween.
A spokesperson for Miss Kardashian said, "When the battle between Old Navy and Kim is over, she hopes to own the Navy. She loves men in uniforms."
Donald Trump should be glad he's not Elmer Fudd. If Donald was Elmer, he couldn't tell people they were fired. But he could tell them they were "histowee."
But if Donald Trump was Elmer Fudd, he'd have better looking hair.
Elmer Fudd just got a Twitter account. His first message to Buggs Bunny said, "Tweet me with wespect."
Barack Obama's birthday is coming up in a few days. He said he isn't hiring a clown for his party, but Joe Biden plans to attend any way.
Joe Biden plans to pose as a clown and twist inflated balloon animals at President Obama's birthday party. While the vice president has never done this before, he believes he can do it because he's seen a lot of twisted Congress members with inflated egos.
The president hopes his family hires a magician to perform at his party because he would like to learn how to saw a few Republicans in half.
For birthday presents, Barack Obama is hoping he'll get a new copy of his birth certificate. The one he has is getting worn out by showing it to everyone upon demand.
Kim Kardashian is suing Old Navy for hiring a model who looks like her. All I can say is be safe people. Pick a different Kardashian to portray this Halloween.
A spokesperson for Miss Kardashian said, "When the battle between Old Navy and Kim is over, she hopes to own the Navy. She loves men in uniforms."
Donald Trump should be glad he's not Elmer Fudd. If Donald was Elmer, he couldn't tell people they were fired. But he could tell them they were "histowee."
But if Donald Trump was Elmer Fudd, he'd have better looking hair.
Elmer Fudd just got a Twitter account. His first message to Buggs Bunny said, "Tweet me with wespect."
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Politicians provide paradise for comedy writers
Sarah Palin's e-mails have been released to media. My favorite is the one she wrote in early December 2007 that said, "Dear Santa, please bring me a vice presidential nomination so I can get a book deal and reality show."
Donald Trump is once again considering the possibility of a presidential campaign. He already has a lot of supporters. They're are called comedy writers.
A Connecticut company plans to release two Anthony Weiner action figure dolls. One is a plain doll. The other is a more expensive, anatomically correct version that comes with an active Twitter account.
This week, President Barack Obama announced a new effort to eliminate government waste and named Joe Biden to lead the effort. Obama even offered to help pack the vice president's bags.
Prince Philip celebrated his 90th birthday this week. His party guests didn't blindfold him for the Pin the Tail on the Donkey game. They knew he wouldn't get close to the donkey, but they told Camilla to hide.
While misquoting the Constitution, Michele Bachmann said she wanted to give Constitution lessons. This proves that those who can do and those who can't teach.
The Colorado couple who tried to cash in on publicity by letting their son float away in a silver hot-air balloon are trying to auction the balloon to raise money for earthquake and tsunami recovery efforts in Japan. They said their son will deliver the money in a gold hot-air balloon.
It's the second time the couple tried to auction the famous silver balloon. They said the first round of bids were low and fraudulent. They also said something about finding gold in a pot or kettle they called black.
When I was in college, I didn't understand the point of joining a sorority because it was all Greek to me.
My husband suggested we spend several hundred dollars to take the entire family to Hawaii for have a nice, stress free, relaxing vacation. I suggested we save money and just get a single one-way ticket for my mother-in-law.
Donald Trump is once again considering the possibility of a presidential campaign. He already has a lot of supporters. They're are called comedy writers.
A Connecticut company plans to release two Anthony Weiner action figure dolls. One is a plain doll. The other is a more expensive, anatomically correct version that comes with an active Twitter account.
This week, President Barack Obama announced a new effort to eliminate government waste and named Joe Biden to lead the effort. Obama even offered to help pack the vice president's bags.
Prince Philip celebrated his 90th birthday this week. His party guests didn't blindfold him for the Pin the Tail on the Donkey game. They knew he wouldn't get close to the donkey, but they told Camilla to hide.
While misquoting the Constitution, Michele Bachmann said she wanted to give Constitution lessons. This proves that those who can do and those who can't teach.
The Colorado couple who tried to cash in on publicity by letting their son float away in a silver hot-air balloon are trying to auction the balloon to raise money for earthquake and tsunami recovery efforts in Japan. They said their son will deliver the money in a gold hot-air balloon.
It's the second time the couple tried to auction the famous silver balloon. They said the first round of bids were low and fraudulent. They also said something about finding gold in a pot or kettle they called black.
When I was in college, I didn't understand the point of joining a sorority because it was all Greek to me.
My husband suggested we spend several hundred dollars to take the entire family to Hawaii for have a nice, stress free, relaxing vacation. I suggested we save money and just get a single one-way ticket for my mother-in-law.
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