It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas, which means the carpet in the hall is covered with pine needles and needs to be vacuumed.
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth. Santa, just make sure they’re gold.
My ex-husband used to love decorating for the holidays. He especially loved decking the holidays with Holly. She’s the reason we’re divorced now.
When my ex-husband wasn’t decking the halls with holly, he dressed in gay apparel and sang, “Hark” with that Angel Harold.
My boyfriend tried to pick out the star to put on top of my Christmas tree. I told him Kim Kardashian isn’t really a star.
While children are anxiously waiting for Santa, I am waiting for Godot.
Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer might not have a shinny nose if he used Cover Girl products.
The star literally asked to be put on top of the Christmas tree this year. That is because Tom Cruise is too short to climb up there by himself.
When Tom Cruise wishes upon a star, does he wish upon himself or does he wish upon George Clooney?
I decided to stop chasing my dreams and start living them. Well, they run a lot faster than I do.
I used to have a hard time telling people, “No.” That’s how I ended up with twins.
The other day, a kid asked me if I was older than dirt. I said, “No, Dirt is 62.”
PERFORMANCE SCHEDULE
Tuesday, December 10 – 8 pm (theater)
“Metro Med” – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 – contact me in advance and I can get you in for $15
** Bring your own refreshments
** Valet parking available
**THIS IS CLOSING NIGHT SHOW FOR THIS CAST
Wednesday, December 11 – 9:30 pm (theater)
“Angel Academy” – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $30 – contact me in advance and I can get you in for $15
** Bring your own refreshments
** Valet parking available
Wednesday, December 18 – 9:30 pm (theater)
“Angel Academy” – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $30 – contact me in advance and I can get you in for $15
** Bring your own refreshments
** Valet parking available
Saturday, December 21 –8 pm (standup)
Santa Monica Hostel
Show produced by Howard Berger, national headliner and writer for Rodney Dangerfield
1435 2nd Street
Santa Monica, CA
** PRIVATE SHOW
Friday, December 27 –8 pm (standup)
The Rain Nightclub
Show produced by Spanky the Truth Miller, headliner seen on “The Late Show” with David Letterman
12215 Ventura Blvd
Studio City, CA
** Doors open at 7:30 pm
** Free parking
** $10, includes free admission to after party
** No drink minimum
** Must be 21 years old or older
Wednesday, January 8 – 9:30 pm (theater)
“Angel Academy” – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $30 – contact me in advance and I can get you in for $15
** Bring your own refreshments
** Valet parking available
Monday, January 13, 2014 – 8 pm (inspirational speaking and standup)
Women Artists Network
Thousand Oaks, CA
** PRIVATE SHOW
Wednesday, January 8 – 8 and 9:30 pm (theater)
“Angel Academy” – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $30 – contact me in advance and I can get you in for $15
** Bring your own refreshments
** Valet parking available
Wednesday, January 15 – 8 pm (theater)
“Angel Academy” – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $30 – contact me in advance and I can get you in for $15
** Bring your own refreshments
** Valet parking available
Wednesday, January 22 – 8 pm (theater)
“Angel Academy” – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $30 – contact me in advance and I can get you in for $15
** Bring your own refreshments
** Valet parking available
Wednesday, January 22 – 8 pm (theater)
“Angel Academy” – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $30 – contact me in advance and I can get you in for $15
** Bring your own refreshments
** Valet parking available
Wednesday, January 29 – 8 pm (theater)
“Angel Academy” – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $30 – contact me in advance and I can get you in for $15
** Bring your own refreshments
** Valet parking available
Wednesday, February 5 – 8 pm (theater)
“Angel Academy” – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $30 – contact me in advance and I can get you in for $15
** Bring your own refreshments
** Valet parking available
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