Mitt Romney is calling for an outside investigation into a leak at the White House. I hope he remembers timing is everything because getting a leak fixed on a weekend means double-time for a plumber.
If Mitt Romney has to pay for the outside investigation into a possible leak at the White House, it could take awhile -- especially if he depends on his own way of doing things. That means the plumbers would have to travel here from India.
Mitt Romney mostly has conducted his election campaign by criticizing a soft economy. But that's OK because Democrats contend the president is consistent. They say unlike Romney, Barack Obama also has a soft heart.
The Olympics get underway this weekend. I love the field and track events because they feature short, quick races. Too bad the presidential candidates can't follow suit in their race.
August starts next week. I love August. It features really great holidays. For example, August 21 is Senior Citizen's Day. It's greatly endorsed by The AARP – The Arthritis Alleviation Remedies Program.
I'm looking forward to being a senior citizen. I want to retire and make an Olympic-size move to Florida. Yep, I want to spend my golden years with silver hair and a bronze tan.
I'm looking forward to being a senior citizen so I can do things I've never had time to do such as playing Bingo, visiting the grandchildren and traveling to Canada for cheap prescriptions.
I don't know why people refer to senior citizens as old because a lot of them have new hips, new knees and new teeth.
August 22 is Be an Angel Day. It has been suggested that I observe it by not writing any more cruel jokes about senior citizens.
President Obama celebrates his birthday in August. The president said he's hoping his presents include a copy of his birth certificate because his is getting ragged.
August 25 is Kiss and Make Up Day. I wonder how Gene Simmons plans to celebrate.
SEE ME LIVE:
FRIDAY, AUGUST 3 – 9:30 pm
The Bucket List Comedy Revue
Neon Venus Art Theater
7023 Melrose Ave
Hollywood, CA 90038
$10 at the door
No item minimum purchase required