Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Don't take stock in America

Mitt Romney and Donald Trump are having a $50,000 a plate fund-raising dinner. Rumor has it the placemats are going to be replicas of President Obama's birth certificate.

Since it's an election year, politicians want us to take stock in America. However, do so at your own risk because cattle rustling is illegal in most states.

Rielle Hunter says she and John Edwards have ended their relationship. She said she will always love John and how their scandal led to a book deal.

In Middleborough, Massachusetts, it is illegal to swear in public. Does this mean newly-elected judges have to travel to the next county to be sworn in to office so they can uphold the law?

A bank robber near Portland, Oregon, robbed a bank of $425 and then went to the police to confess. Talk about a stupid criminal! He should have demanded the bank teller give him $425,000.

A judge ruled Samsung couldn't sale it's new Galaxy 10.1 tablet computer until the court settles a claim that the device illegally copies the iPad. This means an Apple a day keeps more than a doctor away.

I'm getting over a cold. It got so bad I had to go to the doctor. He said, "Cough it up." Then when I went into a coughing fit, he said, "I didn't mean phlegm. I meant your co-payment."

As I continue on a path of healing and enlightenment, I am now officially calling myself a new age woman. I really like 41 as my new age.

If life begins at 40, Jack Benny never existed – and neither do the people who are too young to know who he is.

I'll never forget when I turned 40. I celebrated by going on a cruise. The first night, the captain issued gale warnings. He said Gale was evil if she wasn't first in the buffet line.


Cornelius Grant – Musical Director for The Temptations – Presents:
Barbara Morrison Performing Arts Center
4305 Degnan Blvd #101
Los Angeles, CA 90008
* Enter through through the courtyard
* $5-10
*No item minimum purchase required

Comedy Store - Belly Room
8433 W Sunset Blvd
West Hollywood, CA  90069
* 2-item minimum purchase required