Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Them's fightin' words

I read on the Internet that some people are mad because toy stores are selling out of automatic marshmallow launchers. Believe it or not, we had those when I was a kid, but we could get them for free and we called them hands.

I find it amazing that during a season that celebrates peace and love, adults will get violent if they can't find a particular item. One thing I would never fight for is a diamond. That's because diamonds are supposed to be a girl's best friend, but they won't accept my Facebook friend invite.

Meanwhile, here is a top 10 list of things I would fight to obtain:

1. A battery-operated battery charger

2. A sound-proof room where the Little Drummer Boy can practice

3. A politician who realizes it is sometimes better to give in than to receive

4. Six months of lessons at the Bristol Palin Dance Studio

5. A chance to look like Reese Witherspoon without losing 70 pounds and 20 years

6. A boss who is smarter than a fifth-grader

7. A good price for my mother-in-law when I try to sell her on "Pawn Stars"

8. A hip that will hop

9. A Blackberry that washes dishes

10. A copy of the words to that song "The Impossible Dream" so I can remember why I'm supposed to fight the unbeatable foe.