Wednesday, October 5, 2011

11-11-11 is good for Facebook readers

A bride needed something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. So, I gave her a new perspective of married life by loaning her my old, blue-haired mother-in-law for as long as they both shall live.

Oct. 3 was Virus Appreciation Day while Oct. 9 is Curious Events Day. I plan to celebrate the latter by pondering why anyone would appreciate catching a virus – especially a flu virus.

Oct. 5 is Do Something Nice Day and World Teacher's Day. The nice thing to do would be not to tell a teacher, "Those who can do. Those who can't teach."

On Oct. 6, 1889, Thomas Edison showed the first motion picture. It was a silent film. He said, "If you want sound, buy one of my phonographs."

After Thomas Edison showed the first motion picture on Oct. 6, 1889, critics reported, "His bird shadows on that wall were great, but he needs to work on his bunny ears."

Donald Trump's Taj Mahal Casino Resort in Atlantic City is offering $25,000 worth of plastic surgery to the winner in a player's card game. Rick Perry said if he wins he wants to trade in the prize for an appointment with The Donald's hairdresser.

Mayan calendar scholars contend the date 11-11-11 will mark the entry into an era of peace, love and prosperity. Regardless of what you believe, it will be a remarkable day. Bad Facebook spellers won't be able to transpose the date.

Andy Rooney is retiring, but he contends he will still work. The only difference will be he will now have time to get his eyebrows clipped.

CBS executives wanted 92-year-old Andy Rooney to retire. Otherwise, they would have to change the show's name to "Nine Decades, Two Years and 60 Minutes" which is too long to fit in the TV guide listing.

Andy Rooney's last words on "60 Minutes" were, "If you see me in a restaurant, please just let me eat my dinner." What got edited out was Andy shaking his fist and declaring, "or else it will be the last supper – but not for me!"