Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Will those jobs grow next to the money tree?

Physicists in Geneva recently discovered particles that determine the size and shape of things. They're called "God particles". That's amazing! I always thought they were called Twinkies.

Republican leaders said we need what they describe as a plan "to grow jobs." I'm wondering if they'll grow on trees or vines. Well, we know a Bush won't work.

Unfortunately down-sizing seems to be the American way these days. So, I've decided to join the trend – and start with my hips.

July 13 is Embrace Your Geekness Day. It you attend any celebrations, don't be surprised if party favors are Apples.

July 15 is Cow Appreciation Day. I'm proud to say I appreciate cows. In fact, I'm half vegetarian. I only eat corn-fed beef.

July 15 is Cow Appreciation Day. So, I've decided to date a cowboy. Last time I did that he took me to watch the big cattle drive. They did pretty good until they took their hooves off the steering wheel.

July 26 is National All or Nothing Day. Well, I'm going for the nothing part. I figure why buy a Smart Phone until I can get a good deal on one that comes with a fifth-grader.

I heard an attorney for clients afflicted by prescriptions say, "Call me if you experienced a heart attack, a stroke or death." All I can say is I hope mobile phone plans in Heaven offer free any-time minutes.

I heard cleanliness was next to Godliness. So I went on a cleaning spree. The first thing I cleaned out was my husband's wallet.

Growing up it was all clean and no dirt in my home as my mom was a clean freak. In fact, when our housekeeper came to work, she had to bring her own dust.

One time mom made us bathe the dog until he was spotless. Woofy hated that because he was a Dalmation.


FRIDAY, JULY 20, 2012  – 8:00 pm
Friday Night Live
St. Bede's Episcopal Church - Luther Hall (parish hall)
3590 Grand View Blvd.
West Los Angeles, CA  90066
** No cover, No booze, free parking, free snacks
**** Clean show!

SATURDAY, JULY 21 – 8 pm
The Comedy Store – Belly Room
8433 W. Sunset Blvd
West Hollywood, CA 98869
** $10 cover & 2 item beverage purchase required