It's been said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. But, the way to take his breath away is an upper-cut punch to his solar plexus.
I used to have a date every Saturday night. Now, I have a papaya.
I've always wondered why half-and-half never adds up to a whole.
Spilled milk makes people cry. So if you spill half-and-half, will you only cry out of one eye?
While dining in a Chinese restaurant, I couldn't resist asking the server if the dim sum could add for itself.
I got kicked out of the Chinese restaurant when I asked the server if the spring rolls were still fresh in the midst of summer.
When I went to the county fair, I entered the cooking competition with four and 20 blackbirds baked in a pie. Well, I wanted to become the feather-weight champion.
Where I come from, the no running in the house rule includes water.
Where I come from, pro choice means deciding if you want your country-fried steak with brown or cream gravy.
Nutrition experts say that country-fried steak ain't healthy. So, I suggest you start ordering suburban-fried steak.
SEE ME LIVE
FRIDAY, JULY 20 – 8 pm
Friday Night Live
St. Bede's Episcopal Church – Luther Hall (parish hall)
3590 Grand View Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90066
** No cover
** Clean show
SATURDAY, JULY 21 – 8 pm
Cathy Lewis Show
World Famous Comedy Store – Belly Room
8433 W. Sunset Blvd
West Hollywood, CA
** $10 cover, 2-drink minimum purchase required
FRIDAY, AUGUST 3 - 9 pm
Neon Venus Art Theater
The Bucket List Comedy Review
7023 Melrose Ave
West Hollywood, CA 90038
** $10 at the door, no minimum item purchase required
