I like the concept of sleeping under the stars. So, that means you get the top bunk, George Clooney.
I am totally a new-age woman. I'm thinking a great new age is 32.
I thought about doing everything backwards today, but my mouth is too big to put in my foot.
I used to work in an office where people did everything backwards. I guess that explains why no one ever looked forward to going to work.
It's an election year. The candidates want us to take stock in America. But that's not a good idea because cattle rustling is illegal.
I grew up in a bad neighborhood. It was so bad residents didn't have running water because the water ran away to join the witness protection program.
The neighborhood where I grew up might have been bad, but the kids still preferred it to the Pied Piper's flute playing.
They say the best things in life are free. You're gonna get a free nose job if you don't pay me the $10 you owe me.
The best things in life are free. But if you get caught stealing them, it could cost you 20 years.
The best things in life are free, which explains why I'm not making any money writing punch lines like this one.