1. I resolve to stop making jokes about Donald Trump's hair until it strikes me as funny again.
2. I resolve to quit being jealous of Rick Perry's perfect hair because it isn't red enough for me.
3. I resolve not to make fun of Sarah Palin again until maybe next week.
4. I resolve not to make fun of Michele Bachmann until she says something stupid.
5. I resolve not to eat watermelon when it's not in season.
6. I resolve to try not to redecorate my bathroom next time I dye my hair.
7. I resolve to lose a few pounds if someone buys me a ticket to go shopping in England.
8. I resolve to eat less chocolate until I replenish my supply.
9. I resolve to pay taxes until someone gives me $250,000.
10. I resolve to convince my mother-in-law to go home.