Twenty years ago, I had a date every Saturday night. Now every weekend, I have an apricot.
Charlie Brown received a lot of presents at his birthday party last week. Lucy gave him a football. (Hey, don't groan! She has a million more that she stole from our hero.)
I don't understand why Charlie Brown ever trusted Lucy. You can look at her and know she's not to be trusted. After all, she's always had corporate hair. (Remind you of anyone?)
Another obvious reason Lucy Von Pelt can't be trusted is her 5-cent psychology practice. She started young in denying poor children affordable access to health care.
That old guy Harold Camping is now predicting Friday, Oct. 21, will be the end of the world. If Camping has reverted to his second childhood, I predict that come Friday we'll know the identity of that anonymous boy who cried, "Wolf!"
Harold Camping is predicting Friday, Oct. 21, will be the end of the world. You can call Camping all kinds of names, but you can't call him a Mayan.
I sure hope Harold Camping is wrong again and that the world won't end on Friday, Oct. 21. Otherwise on Oct. 31, I won't get to wear my Michele Bachmann costume.
I almost hope Harold Camping is right about Friday, Oct. 21, being the end of the world. Then I won't have to endure any more GOP presidential candidate debates.
Harold Camping is wrong about his prediction that the world will end Friday, Oct. 21. Just ask the scores of jobless Americans. Their world ended when Congress failed to pass the jobs bill.
Even though the economy is shaky, it might be a good idea to invest in the stock market. I suggest buying stock in the Tums Corporation because we still have to contend with Congress.