Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Loving thy neighbor is difficult

I just saw an ad informing me there are ways to save money by going to the gas pump. I'm hoping that means the hunk pumping gas in the photo is going to offer to buy me dinner.

(My husband is hoping the same thing. That makes me angry because I saw that hunk first.)

"Something Wicked This Way Comes" is a famous Ray Bradbury novel. It's also my ex-husband.

My mother-in-law likes to burn candles and incense. I like to burn her dinner.

I only have one problem with the commandment to love thy neighbor. It's called my neighbor's wife.

Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you. OK, I'll give you $1 million – and I'm going to let you go first!

I grew up in Amarillo, Texas. It's the Helium Capital of the World. That explains why I grew up thinking my name was Pip Squeak.

If there ain't no cure for the summer time blues – then I'm switching to green.

They say it's summer time and the living is easy, fish are jumping and cotton is high. Well, these days, polyester and gas prices are also high.

I have decided to be different from everyone else in L.A. I refuse to become a Kardashian.