It's been said, "Once you leave, there's no turning back." But being one who likes to buck the system, here are the top 10 things I discovered while looking at life through my rear-view mirror.
10. I witnessed a male passenger apply makeup to a female driver stopped at a stoplight. I'm not sure, but I think it might have been Kathy Griffin and one of her gays.
9. I saw a man with a blue tooth picking something from something green from between his teeth.
8. I saw a sign that stated: "Please use the crosswalk." I think that's what it said, but I'm not sure because it was hidden by some guy who was jay walking.
7. I saw red flashing lights. Yep, the jay walker got busted.
6. I saw some red-eyed dude igniting something green. I'm assuming it was the spinach discarded by the guy with the blue tooth.
5. I saw someone's grandmother driving slower than me in the fast lane.
4. I saw a woman get her hair caught when she rolled up her driver's side window. Guess what color hair she had. Yep, it was red. I know because I still have a bald spot.
3. I saw a pillar of salt turn into a human.
2. I didn't see you because you were driving in my blind spot.
1. I saw everything I wouldn't have seen had I been doing what I was supposed to be doing – keeping my eyes on the road in front of me.