Lack of postal service is heart breaking

The concept of Congress doing away with the U.S. Postal Service is heart breaking – especially for men seeking mail-order brides.

Actress Reese Witherspoon was arrested for disorderly conduct when her husband was stopped for suspicion of DUI. Police said an investigation is underway because it appears Ms. Witherspoon may not be legally blond.

A Utah man was offered $5,000 on EBay for a 14-year-old petrified McDonald's burger. Wow, talk about the rising food costs!

A woman attending a circus performance in Salina, Kansas, went to the restroom and came face to face with one of the performers – a tiger who managed to escape. As the tiger stood on its hind legs growling, the woman said, "You'll look like a thinner cougar if you switch to horizontal stripes."

I've made a vow to myself to get rid of a bunch of dead weight. I'm starting with my ex-husband.

If the law of gravity of what goes up must come down applies to my bank balance, why can't it apply to my weight and my age?

I was told never to go grocery shopping when I'm hungry. So I haven't shopped in 12 years, 7 months, 11 days, 38 minutes and 41 seconds. (But who's counting.)

I live in Hollywood. You have to diet here because it's the only place in the universe where you have to be a size zero to become bigger than life.

I asked my psychic healer if I'd ever be bigger than life. He said possibly because my butt was almost as large of Kim Kardashian's.

Seriously, when it comes to useless weight, I've been struggling with 134 extra pounds for 17 years. My mother-in-law just refuses to go away.


SEE ME LIVE

SATURDAY, APRIL 27 – 5 PM (Standup)
Fundraiser for Kaitlyn Dobrow
Chapel of Change
6701 E. Alondra
$20 Donation
** While this is a fundraiser, the public is invited
** For details http://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/1d32/kaitlynndobrowinspireshope

SATURDAY, APRIL 27 – 7 PM (Standup)
** Private Show
Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe
Women comedians perform for women in recovery
Little House
Bellflower, CA
** If you want to hire Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next function, contact Will or Yvonne Morton at will@millionlaughs.com
** For details http://www.millionlaughs.com

TUESDAY, APRIL 30 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Happily Whatever After" – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
(Due to popularity of this show, ticket prices are now $30. However, you can get a $10 discount if you tell them you came to see Nancy Jo! Go early because seating is first come, first served. Valet parking for $3.)

TUESDAY, MAY 7 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Happily Whatever After" – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
(Due to popularity of this show, ticket prices are now $30. However, you can get a $10 discount if you tell them you came to see Nancy Jo! Go early because seating is first come, first served. Valet parking for $3.)

WEDNESDAY, MAY 8 – TIME TO BE CONFIRMED (Theater)
"Reservoir Bitches" – written by Quentin Tarantino directed by Sydne Hebert
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
*** If you want Sunday School dialog and fairy tale endings, this show is not for you! But, it's a good one! Then again, the script was written by Quentin Tarantino.
(Due to popularity of this show, ticket prices are now $30. However, you can get a $10 discount if you tell them you came to see Nancy Jo! Go early because seating is first come, first served. Valet parking for $3.)

WEDNESDAY, MAY 15 – TIME TO BE CONFIRMED (Theater)
"Reservoir Bitches" – written by Quentin Tarantino directed by Sydne Hebert
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
*** If you want Sunday School dialog and fairy tale endings, this show is not for you! But, it's a good one! Then again, the script was written by Quentin Tarantino.
(Due to popularity of this show, ticket prices are now $30. However, you can get a $10 discount if you tell them you came to see Nancy Jo! Go early because seating is first come, first served. Valet parking for $3.)

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22 – TIME TO BE CONFIRMED (Theater)
"Reservoir Bitches" – written by Quentin Tarantino directed by Sydne Hebert
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
*** If you want Sunday School dialog and fairy tale endings, this show is not for you! But, it's a good one! Then again, the script was written by Quentin Tarantino.
(Due to popularity of this show, ticket prices are now $30. However, you can get a $10 discount if you tell them you came to see Nancy Jo! Go early because seating is first come, first served. Valet parking for $3.)

WEDNESDAY, MAY 29 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Reservoir Bitches" – written by Quentin Tarantino directed by Sydne Hebert
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
*** If you want Sunday School dialog and fairy tale endings, this show is not for you! But, it's a good one! Then again, the script was written by Quentin Tarantino.
(Due to popularity of this show, ticket prices are now $30. However, you can get a $10 discount if you tell them you came to see Nancy Jo! Go early because seating is first come, first served. Valet parking for $3.)

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 5 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Reservoir Bitches" – written by Quentin Tarantino directed by Sydne Hebert
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
*** If you want Sunday School dialog and fairy tale endings, this show is not for you! But, it's a good one! Then again, the script was written by Quentin Tarantino.
(Due to popularity of this show, ticket prices are now $30. However, you can get a $10 discount if you tell them you came to see Nancy Jo! Go early because seating is first come, first served. Valet parking for $3.)

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 12 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Reservoir Bitches" – written by Quentin Tarantino directed by Sydne Hebert
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
*** If you want Sunday School dialog and fairy tale endings, this show is not for you! But, it's a good one! Then again, the script was written by Quentin Tarantino.
(Due to popularity of this show, ticket prices are now $30. However, you can get a $10 discount if you tell them you came to see Nancy Jo! Go early because seating is first come, first served. Valet parking for $3.)

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 19 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Reservoir Bitches" – written by Quentin Tarantino directed by Sydne Hebert
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
*** If you want Sunday School dialog and fairy tale endings, this show is not for you! But, it's a good one! Then again, the script was written by Quentin Tarantino.
(Due to popularity of this show, ticket prices are now $30. However, you can get a $10 discount if you tell them you came to see Nancy Jo! Go early because seating is first come, first served. Valet parking for $3.)

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 22 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Reservoir Bitches" – written by Quentin Tarantino directed by Sydne Hebert
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
*** If you want Sunday School dialog and fairy tale endings, this show is not for you! But, it's a good one! Then again, the script was written by Quentin Tarantino.
(Due to popularity of this show, ticket prices are now $30. However, you can get a $10 discount if you tell them you came to see Nancy Jo! Go early because seating is first come, first served. Valet parking for $3.)