The bad news is my dog has fleas. The good news is my ukulele is in tune.
If working long hours is making you tired, hire me. For $8 an hour, I'll take a nap for you.
Little Boy Blue wouldn't be blue if he took a breath before he blew his horn.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on your supervisor.
If it's one, two, three strikes you're out, you need to get another box of matches.
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away¸ who is going to examine the worm?
If you kill two birds with one stone, you could be accused of being a serial killer.
A stitch in time may save nine, but it won't guarantee you won't rip your britches again.
If you burn the candle at both ends, make sure you have fresh batteries in your smoke detectors.
Late to bed, early to rise, means you live too close to a rooster.
Before you take stock on Wall Street, consult Humpty Dumpty.
Don't think about what other people think. Let them do their own work.
Out of sight, out of mind doesn't apply to your bill collectors.
Whoever said "Give them an inch and they'll take a mile," was talking about hairdressers.
Pie are squared, but they taste great with ice cream on top.
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet because all the chairs were taken.