Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Best friends forever

The other day, I was walking down the street, minding my own business, carrying on a conversation and a total stranger says, "Nobody's there." I said, "Don't call my imaginary friend nobody. You'll hurt his feelings."

Sometimes my imaginary friend comes over for dinner. Afterwards, he offers to help with the dishes. But for some unknown reason, I always end up doing all the work.

I learned the hard way never to loan my imaginary friend money. Even if he pays it back, I'll never see it again.

When we were kids, my imaginary friend loved playing Hide-and-Go-Seek. Fifty years later, I'm still trying to find him.

My mom never had a problem with my having an imaginary friend. She always said, "Children should be heard and not seen."

My imaginary friend grew up to be extremely handsome. I wish you could see him.

Last week, my imaginary friend said he needed to stop seeing me because he met someone new who is more like him. I never saw that coming.

I tried to make friends with my imaginary friend's imaginary girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking because we'll never see eye-to-eye.

I'm going to miss that imaginary friend. Although every time we drove on the freeway, he would duck down in his seat, and I would get a ticket for using the HOV lane.

Next time, I'm going to let my him drive. He can do it because he has an imaginary drivers' license just like three-fourths of the other drivers in this city.

He even has insurance that he pays with imaginary premiums. Hey, imaginary premiums aren't that far-fetched. After all, now I'm paying real premiums for imaginary health care.

I took my imaginary friend grocery shopping today. That's the last time I do that because I now have an imaginary bank balance.

If you're thinking of getting an imaginary friend, I have advice for you. If you want to make sure he doesn't play tricks on you, don't let him out of your sight.

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