My take on SHEENing Oscars

Some of the Oscar nominees seemed nervous while they were waiting to see if they'd win. I say when it comes to talent of that caliber, the only losers were the people who had to endure all those acceptance speeches.

I love the Oscars, but hearing all those acceptance speeches is like having someone read me all those ancestor begat chapters in the book of Genesis.

I think "King's Speech" was a good choice for best movie. In fact think all the winners deserved to win. But their acceptance speeches would have been more interesting if they had stuttered.

Anne Hathaway wore more dresses in one night than I've worn in five years. But, one of my dresses would make five of hers.

Hailee Steinfeld looked like a princess in her lovely dress. And, she proved she deserved an Oscar nomination. At the age of 14, going out in public with her parents really showed true grit.

Even the celebrities had chills up and down their spines as they watched the stars arrive at the Oscars after parties. That's because it was 40 degrees outside and all of them left their hoodies in their cars.

Everybody who's anybody in the film industry attended the Governor's Ball after the Academy Awards. I'm told former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was terminated from the guest list.

The Academy Awards inspired Lindsay Lohan to volunteer for community service. She is offering to personally return all the borrowed necklaces the stars wore to the show.

Now that Charlie Sheen's hit sitcom has been canceled, I hear he's being considered for another project. It will be a one-man show called "Two and a Half Egos".

CBS may not offer Charlie Sheen $3 million to return to work. However, after he described himself as a rock star from Mars, he began negotiating with NASA so he can return to Mars to search for better hookers.