Halloween horror stories involve Congress

** Due to a hectic production schedule, Nancy Jo will begin updating this site each Monday.  Thanks for reading.  Until next week, keep laughing.

It is not too early to start selecting your Halloween costume.  I want to go as the scariest person on Earth.  But it’s hard to pick just one member of Congress.

Halloween ain’t as fun as it used to be – especially since my neighbors now make me trick or treat online.

Last Halloween, I performed standup comedy at a private party in a haunted house.  It was awful.  Every time I told a joke, the ghostly residents booed.

Things always go bump in the night at my house.  But that doesn’t mean the place is haunted.  It means I run into stuff if I’m not wearing my glasses.

Republicans didn’t seem to have any trouble shutting down the government.  It’s too bad they can’t seem to shut the mouths of Rush Limbaugh and Michele Bachmann.

In October 1889, Thomas Edison showed the first motion picture.  It was a silent film.  Afterwards, he said, “If you want sound, buy one of my phonographs.”

After Thomas Edison showed the first motion picture, critics reported, “His bird shadows on that wall were great.  But, he needs to work on his bunny ears.”

The Peanuts gang celebrated Charlie Brown’s birthday this month.  Shroeder said he’ll provide entertainment if the arthritis isn’t flaring in his fingers.

Last year, the little red-haired girl attended Charlie Brown’s birthday party.  All I can say is she desperately needed a dye job.

I can’t prove this, but I’m pretty sure Charlie Brown’s teacher spoke English as a second language.

People told me I need to do a lot more writing on the fly. But, I refuse to do that because the fly won't stay still.

There's a good reason fish don't eat guacamole. They don't want to be green in the gills.

 

SEE ME LIVE

Wednesday, October 9 – 8 pm (theater)

“Angel Academy” – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
$20

**  Bring your own refreshments

**  Valet parking available

Sunday, Oct. 13 – Noon (standup)

** Fundraiser
Christian Community Church
11030 La Maida St
North Hollywood, CA  91601

Sunday, October 13 – 8 pm (standup and sketch comedy)

“Sketch Up”
TreStage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
$15
**  Bring your own refreshments
**  Valet parking available

Tuesday, October 15 – 8 pm (theater)

“Metro Med” – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
$20
**  Bring your own refreshments
**  Valet parking available

Wednesday, October 16 – 8 pm (theater)

“Angel Academy” – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
$20
**  Bring your own refreshments
**  Valet parking available

Sunday, October 20 – 8 pm (standup and sketch comedy)

“Sketch Up”
TreStage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
$15
**  Bring your own refreshments
**  Valet parking available

Tuesday, October 22 – 8 pm (theater)
“Metro Med” – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
$20
**  Bring your own refreshments
**  Valet parking available

Wednesday, October 23 – 8 pm (theater)

“Angel Academy” – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
$20
**  Bring your own refreshments
**  Valet parking available

Saturday, October 26 – 7 pm (standup)

** PRIVATE SHOW
Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe
Little House Recovery Home
Bellflower, CA
**  To hire Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next function, contact Will or Yvonne Morton at will@millionlaughs.com

Tuesday, October 29 – 8 pm (theater)

“Metro Med” – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
$20
**  Bring your own refreshments
**  Valet parking available

Tuesday, November 5 – 8 pm (theater)

“Metro Med” – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
$20
**  Bring your own refreshments
**  Valet parking available

Monday, January 13, 2014 – 8 pm (inspirational speaking and standup)

** PRIVATE SHOW
Women Artists Network
Thousand Oaks, CA