Firefighters in Ashland, Oregon, are now trained to give CPR and oxygen masks to pets suffering from smoke inhalation. That's good news for my goldfish and guppies.
All this time, I thought giving mouth-to-mouth to a fish was called lunch at Long John Silver's.
Willie Nelson might have felony marijuana charges dropped if he agrees to sing "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain" in the court room. I know! They should make him sing, "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes".
The Libyian revolutionaries should make Ghadafi sing for amnesty. Then American Idol fans can vote to get rid of him.
Bronx Zoo officials discovered the smell of rats can lure cobras out of hiding. Maybe the International Front should try that technique to lure Ghadafi out of office.
Since the smell of rats can lure cobras out of hiding all I can say is – God help Congress!
Betty White is going to do a reality show. It's going to be about her playing practical jokes on younger people. Her first victim is Larry King.
Some legal experts believe Kate Middleton and Prince William need to sign a pre-nuptial agreement. One of the things Kate should hold out for is a life-time supply of princess lessons from Julie Andrews and Anne Hathaway.
Another reason Kate Middleton should sign a pre-nup is so she can make sure she gets the castle and William gets his grandmother's hat collection.
Kate should not sign a pre-nup unless it includes a clause that would allow her to auction her tiara on e-Bay.