10. I don't want to steal Kate's limelight. I'd rather hold out for her lemon light.
9. Why travel half way across the world to throw rice at the bride, when I can just walk to the kitchen and throw some at my husband?
8. I'm not going abroad until I get a passport photo that makes me look 20 years younger.
7. I'm afraid I might catch the bouquet.
6. When I curtsey while greeting the Queen, my knees might get stuck.
5. I can't celebrate with the Royal Crown, because I don't have a designated driver.
4. Kate and Wills didn't come to my wedding, why should I go to theirs?
3. Prince Harry already has a date.
2. I don't feel comfortable visiting Westminister Abbey because I don't even know Mr. Abbey.
1. Elton John purloined my dress.
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