Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Hicks Ain't Rednecks

Some people think hick is a four-letter word meaning redneck. However, hicks and rednecks are two different species. In case you're wondering which one you are, here are some specifics to solve this mystery in life.

You might be a hick if you loan out your wife but you won't part with your tractor.

You might be a hick if you come to a dip sign in the road near a water crossing and you think it means get out the Skoal.

You might be a hick if your claim to fame is winning a belching contest.

You might be a hick if you get a notice from the draft board and you turn it down, saying if you wanted to feel a draft, you'd remove one of your own boards from the hay loft.

You might be a hick if you go out to paint the town and need only a half bucket of paint.

You might be a redneck if your family's "No Running in the House" rule includes water.

You might be a redneck if tobacco is the only thing your mom will let you chew.

You might be a redneck if Archie Bunker had not claimed the title first.

You might be a redneck if the name of your clan is Ku Klux.

You might be a redneck if you go for exploratory brain surgery and the surgeon can't find anything wrong because he can't find your brain.

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