Celebrate National Look for Circles Day

November 2 is National Look for Circles Day. I celebrate that every day! I just look in the mirror and find some under my eyes.

When I celebrate National Look for Circles Day, I just hope they're easier to find than my car keys.

Sometimes looking for car keys is a lost cause. After half an hour, my keys are still lost, and I've also lost my patience and my mind.

On November 9, 1927, giant pandas were discovered in China. They were spotted in a restaurant asking how to hold their chopsticks.

I need a new pair of shoes. But, I'm holding out for some wing-tips that will literally allow me to fly.

If I have wing-tips, when someone tells me to get the lead out, I can say, “Lead? No, I’m Mercury.”

I just hope when I get wing-tip shoes that the right shoe isn't a left-winger and the left shoe isn't a right-winger.

I’m culinarily challenged. So when I have to cook for myself, I do take out — whatever concoction I whip up is taken straight out to the trash can.

I’m trying to get over a cold. It got so bad I had to go to the doctor. He told me to cough it up. But when I went into a coughing attack, he said he didn’t mean phlegm. He meant my co-payment.

The doctor didn’t give me a clean bill of health. He gave me one stained with spaghetti sauce.

The common cold had to be in the speaker’s mind when he said, “It’s better to give than to receive.”

They say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but so does a lack of health insurance.

SEE ME LIVE

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 31 – 9 PM
The GRAWN Halloween Bash
Grawn (Gallery Row Art Walk News) Production
Diablo Billy's
114 W. 5th Street
Los Angeles, CA
** Cover Charge ($5-10)

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 4 – 1:30 PM
Private Show – Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe
Veteran's Hospital Nursing Center
Long Beach, CA
** If you would like to book Million Laughs for a fund-raiser or private event, contact Yvonne or Will Morton at will@millionlaughs.com

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 10 – 2 PM
Private Show – Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe
Veteran's Hospital
Westwood (L.A.), CA
** If you would like to book Million Laughs for a fund-raiser or private event, contact Yvonne or Will Morton at will@millionlaughs.com

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 16 – 8 PM
Best of L.A. Showcase
The Comedy Spot Comedy Club – Don the Beachcomber
16278 Pacific Coast Highway
Huntington Beach, CA
** $10 at the door - $5 in advance http://www.TheComedySpot.net/HB
** Two item minimum purchase required

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28 – 6 PM
Private Show – Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe
Veteran's Hospital Blind Center
Long Beach, CA
** If you would like to book Million Laughs for a fund-raiser or private event, contact Yvonne or Will Morton at will@millionlaughs.com