There's a reason twerps run for office

There is a good reason twerps run for public office. They can't afford to drive because gas prices are too high.

I finally saw the movie "Lincoln". All I can say is the film was great. But, the play was a killer.

Until I saw the film, I hated Lincoln. That's because Nebraska has harsh winters.

There's a lot of buzz about "The Life of Pi". I don't get why people are so excited about it. In college math class, Pi went on forever.

People seem to like "The Life of Pi". It is short-lived in my house. It usually lasts for one meal.

February 7 is National Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor Day. I don't think I should celebrate because my neighbors only wave one finger at me.

February 11 is National Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day. This brings up a question. If you spill half-and-half, will you only cry out of one eye?

As people prepare to celebrate National Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day on February 11, I have a question. Why doesn't half-and-half ever add up to a whole?

On February 15, 1842, the U.S. Postal Service used an adhesive postage stamp for the first time. Ever since that day, government agencies have been sticking it to us.

On February 19, 1913, a prize was inserted into a Crackerjacks box for the first time. It was an autographed picture of Larry King.


SEE ME LIVE
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 6 – 8 PM & 9:30 PM (Theater)
"The Angel Academy" – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 9 – 2 PM (Standup)
Private Show – Million Laughs
Veterans Hospital Westwood
Los Angeles, CA
** If you would like to hire Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next event, contact Will and Yvonne Morton at will@millionlaughs.com

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12 – 7:30 PM (Standup)
Do You Think You're Funny
Show produced by Cornelius Grant - Musical Director of "The Temptations"
Barbara Morrison Performing Arts Center
4305 Degnan Blvd #101
Los Angeles, CA
** $10
** Enter through the courtyard
** No item minimum purchase required

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13 – 8 PM (Theater)
"The Angel Academy" – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 16 – 7 PM (Standup)
Private Show – Million Laughs
Redgate Memorial Recovery Center
Long Beach, CA
** If you would like to hire Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next event, contact Will and Yvonne Morton at will@millionlaughs.com

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 20 – 8 PM (Theater)
"The Angel Academy" – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23 – 2 PM (Standup)
Private Show – Million Laughs
Metropolitan State Hospital Prison Unit
Norwalk, CA
** If you would like to hire Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next event, contact Will and Yvonne Morton at will@millionlaughs.com

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 27 – 8 PM (Theater)
"The Angel Academy" – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card

SATURDAY, MARCH 3 - 1 PM (Standup)
Private Show – Million Laughs
Veterans Hospital Nursing Unit
Long Beach, CA
** If you would like to hire Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next event, contact Will and Yvonne Morton at will@millionlaughs.com

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 6 – 8 PM (Theater)
The Angel Academy" – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card