You can take the hick out of Texas but . . . .

Amarillo is the Helium Capitol of the World. But there isn't much else there because everything floated away.

Amarillo is a nice medium-sized American city, but sometimes I think it's culturally deprived. In fact, when I lived there and wanted to experience culture, I ate yogurt.

The people making up the hick contingency in Amarillo aren't very computer literate. In fact, they think Windows is what you have to replace after a big tornado.

It's been said that no question is a stupid question. During a Hicks Anonymous Meeting at Starbucks I heard a hick ask, "Why doesn't half-and-half add up to a whole?"

We're not supposed to cry over spilled milk, but we do. So if we spill half-and-half, will we only cry out of one eye?

If you ever date a hick and then break up, you don't have to worry about getting a Dear John letter, but you will probably get a John Deer letter.

In my family, the no-running-in-the-house rule includes water.

I don't know very many hicks who dabble in the stock market. That's because they don't want to attend an annual stockholders meeting for fear they'll have to hold the heaviest pig.

Hicks think pro-choice means having to decide if they want their country-fried steak with brown or cream gravy.

A lot of hicks in Amarillo talk out of the side of their mouths. That's because of they don't want to lose their toothpicks.


SEE ME LIVE

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 26 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Reservoir Bitches" – Almost all-female version of Quentin Tarantino's "Reservoir Dogs"
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

FRIDAY, JUNE 28 – 11 PM (Standup)
Nancy Jo's Jokebox Fridays
Booked Showcase Hosted by Nancy Jo Perdue
* Line of Featured Acts
     Will Morton
     Chloe McGovern
     Rose Hienz
     Lori Weiss
     Headliner: Julian Michael
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** Summer Special – Free Admission
** Valet parking $3-5
** Bring your own snacks and beverages

SATURDAY, JUNE 29 – 6:30 PM (Standup)
Million Laughs Clean Comedy
Private Show – Joseph Recovery House
Santa Ana, CA
** If you would like to book Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next event or fundraiser, contact Will and Yvonne Morton: will@millionlaughs.com

WEDNESDAY, JULY 3 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Reservoir Bitches" – Almost all-female version of Quentin Tarantino's "Reservoir Dogs"
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

FRIDAY, JULY 5 – 11 PM (Standup)
Nancy Jo's Jokebox Fridays
Open Mic/Auditions
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** Summer Special – Free admission
** Sign up at 10. Limited to first 10-20 performers. Acts need to be television clean.
** Bring your own snacks and beverages

SATURDAY, JULY 6 – 1:30 PM (Standup)
Million Laughs Clean Comedy
Private Show – Metropolitan State Hospital LPS Unit
Norwalk, CA
** If you would like to book Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next event or fundraiser, contact Will and Yvonne Morton: will@millionlaughs.com

SATURDAY, AUGUST 17 – 8:30 PM (Standup)
Fundraiser for Dream Street Foundation
Knights of Columbus Hall
224 S. Sepulveda Blvd
Manhattan Beach, CA
** Open to the public
** Ticket details to come

MONDAY, JANUARY 13, 2014 – 8 PM (Inspirational Speaking & Standup)
Private Event
Women Artists Network
Thousand Oaks, CA