Wednesday, June 19, 2013

You might not be a redneck if . . .

When people hear me talk, they accuse me of being a redneck just like Jeff Foxworthy. But I have you know, I'm nothing like Jeff Foxworthy. I don't have a mustache. I wax.

I grew up in Amarillo, Texas. But contrary to popular belief, I'm not a redneck. I'm a green neck because I wear cheap jewelry.

Just because I'm from Amarillo, it doesn't mean I'm a redneck. It means I'm a hick.

People have a hard time distinguishing between a redneck and a hick. But there's a difference. Rednecks go to family reunions for the spoiled potato salad. Hicks go to meet their future spouses.

Hick is a four-letter Swahili word that means I think your tractor is sexy.

Hick is actually a Tunisian word meaning I think I actually look good wearing flannel.

Hick is an Indian word that means if I took my car off the blocks in my yard, Mom wouldn't have a home.

When people make fun of me for talking slow, I just tell them to quit listening so fast.

I used to talk a lot slower. In fact, I used to talk so slow that by the time I told a guy I wasn't that kind of a girl I was.

I've never seen a single hick with a blue tooth. But I have seen a whole slew of them with green teeth.


SEE ME LIVE:

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 19 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Reservoir Bitches" – Amost all-female version of Quentin Tarantino's "Reservoir Dogs"
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

FRIDAY, JUNE 21 – 11 PM (Standup)
Nancy Jo's Jokebox Fridays
Open Mic/Auditions
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** Summer Special – Free admission
** Sign up at 10. Limited to first 10-20 performers. Acts need to be television clean.
** Bring your own snacks and beverages

SATURDAY, JUNE 22 – 2 PM (Standup)
Million Laughs Clean Comedy
Private Show – California Veterans Home
Los Angeles, CA
** If you would like to book Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next event or fundraiser, contact Will and Yvonne Morton: will@millionlaughs.com

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 26 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Reservoir Bitches" – Almost all-female version of Quentin Tarantino's "Reservoir Dogs"
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

FRIDAY, JUNE 28 – 11 PM (Standup)
Nancy Jo's Jokebox Fridays
Booked Showcase Hosted by Nancy Jo Perdue
* Lineup  of Featured Acts
     Will Morton
     Chloe McGovern
     Rose Hienz
     Lori Weiss
     Headliner: Julian Michael
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** Summer Special – Free Admission
** Valet parking $3-5
** Bring your own snacks and beverages

SATURDAY, JUNE 29 – 6:30 PM (Standup)
Million Laughs Clean Comedy
Private Show – Joseph Recovery House
Santa Ana, CA
** If you would like to book Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next event or fundraiser, contact Will and Yvonne Morton: will@millionlaughs.com

WEDNESDAY, JULY 3 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Reservoir Bitches" – Almost all-female version of Quentin Tarantino's "Reservoir Dogs"
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

FRIDAY, JULY 5 – 11 PM (Standup)
Nancy Jo's Jokebox Fridays
Open Mic/Auditions
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** Summer Special – Free admission
** Sign up at 10. Limited to first 10-20 performers. Acts need to be television clean.
** Bring your own snacks and beverages

SATURDAY, JULY 6 – 1:39 PM (Standup)
Million Laughs Clean Comedy
Private Show – Metropolitan State Hospital LPS Unit
Norwalk, CA
** If you would like to book Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next event or fundraiser, contact Will and Yvonne Morton: will@millionlaughs.com

SATURDAY, AUGUST 17 – 8:30 PM (Standup)
Fundraiser for Dream Street Foundation
Knights of Columbus Hall
224 S. Sepulveda Blvd
Manhattan Beach, CA
** Open to the public
** Ticket details to come

MONDAY, JANUARY 13, 2014 – 8 PM (Inspirational Speaking & Standup)
Private Event
Women Artists Network
Thousand Oaks, CA

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