People come to Hollywood with dreams to become bigger than life. They also want to be bigger than Paris Hilton's bank account and Kim Kardashian's butt.
Hollywood is the only place I know where people who want to bigger than life starve themselves to become a size zero.
If you listen to obesity experts in Hollywood, two out of three people are actually three out of four.
I'm on a major weight loss plan. I'm glad to say that when I weighed this morning, I had reached my goal – and surpassed it by 27 pounds.
I hired a personal trainer and told him that by this time next month I want to look like a size zero Hollywood starlet. Hey, it can happen if I hold down the starlet and stuff her with pizza.
If you burn the candle at both ends, I hope you have a fire extinguisher nearby.
A rolling stone gathers no moss unless the moss is named Keith Richards.
A stitch in time may save nine, but there's no guarantee you won't rip your britches again.
Why do you write down notes but you type up notes?
Do you think I can convince the ophthalmologist to treat me for half price if I'm a Cyclops?
SEE ME LIVE
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 14 – 9:30 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5
SATURDAY, AUGUST 17 – 8 PM (Standup)
Fundraiser for Dream Street Foundation
Knights of Columbus Hall
224 S. Sepulveda Blvd
Manhattan Beach, CA
** Open to the public
** Place is difficult to find, look for Dietz Brothers
** $10 in advance, $15 at the door
Click donation
In Special Message Box: Type Aug. 17 Comedy Fundraiser, your name and names of people you're bringing
In amount option, click other, add total of tickets you're buying at $10 each if that option is available
Show up Saturday and your names will be on a list at the door
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 21 – 9:30 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5
SATURDAY, AUGUST 24 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Wonder Women" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 28 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 11 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 18 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5
MONDAY, JANUARY 13, 2014 – 8 PM (Inspirational Speaking & Standup)
Private Event
Women Artists Network
Thousand Oaks, CA
SATURDAY, AUGUST 10 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Wonder Women" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 14 – 9:30 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5
SATURDAY, AUGUST 17 – 8:30 PM (Standup)
Fundraiser for Dream Street Foundation
Knights of Columbus Hall
224 S. Sepulveda Blvd
Manhattan Beach, CA
** Open to the public
** Ticket details to come
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 21 – 9:30 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Be rube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5
SATURDAY, AUGUST 24 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Wonder Women" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 28 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 11 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 18 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5
MONDAY, JANUARY 13, 2014 – 8 PM (Inspirational Speaking & Standup)
Private Event
Women Artists Network
Thousand Oaks, CA
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